


You Don't Bring Me Flowers

by TeaRoses



Category: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-22
Updated: 2010-02-22
Packaged: 2017-10-07 11:31:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/64748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaRoses/pseuds/TeaRoses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are some songs that John Munch just cannot stand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Don't Bring Me Flowers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thepenwalla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepenwalla/gifts).



John Munch sat at his desk, eyes closed, a symphony playing on the radio near him. Suddenly he heard static, then the strains of Neil Diamond and Barbara Streisand singing "You Don't Bring Me Flowers."

His eyes snapped open to see Fin Tutuola grinning at him, one hand still on the radio.

"Hey," said Munch. "Leave that alone, will you?"

"You're that attached to classical music?" Fin asked.

"Actually, mostly I just hate that particular song," Munch muttered.

"You do?" asked Tutuola. "I never knew that."

"What, it's one of your favorites?"

"Well, no," Fin admitted grudgingly. "But why do you hate it so much?"

"It's the worst song there is. I'd like to find whoever wrote it and punch him in the head."

"Nah," said Fin after a moment. "There are lots of songs worse than that one. You ever hear 'In the Year 2525?'"

"Fortunately not," said Munch. "Because my second wife didn't sit around listening to it all day."

"She liked this one?"

"Oh yeah. She would turn it up loud whenever I came in the room, just to remind me that I didn't bring her flowers."

_But 'used-to-bes' don't count anymore_, warbled a voice on the radio. Munch stabbed a button and produced silence.

"Well, why didn't you bring her some?" asked Fin with a glint in his eye.

"Because by then she would have thrown them in my face," Munch confessed. "She was an expert at throwing things. Insults, curses, dishes."

"Dishes?" asked Fin. "I thought people only did that in the movies."

"Well, okay," said Munch. "It wasn't really dishes, it was a little glass figurine of a shepherd that I bought her as a way to make up after a fight. And it only hit me on the arm."

"Flowers would have hurt less," said Fin philosophically.

"At least I didn't throw anything back. Didn't keep the neighbors from calling the police though."

Fin drew up a chair and sat down. "Hey, I wasn't trying to bring up bad memories."

"Yeah, well, that's all I've got when it comes to ex-wives. Why do women want flowers anyway? What's the point? They just sit around in your house and then die." asked Munch.

"You could say the same thing about some people's relatives. You're not much of a romantic, are you?" Fin asked.

"Look at how much good romance did me," Munch replied. "Four ex-wives. I'll never do that again."

"Your girlfriend agree with that?"

"Don't you go worrying about what my girlfriend thinks."

"Uh-huh." Fin put a hand on Munch's shoulder. "Next time, bring her flowers."

"There isn't going to be a next time!" Munch shouted, but Fin was already leaving the room, laughing softly to himself.

Image from www.allbestwallpapers.com


End file.
